Monday, December 14, 2009
Take Me Over
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Let The Right One In
Wow what a creepy movie. It really stuck with me. I was walking upstairs by myself and in my house there is a full wall window that you see as you walk up the stairs. The window was frosted and all you could see through it was the still silhouette of a dead tree and the empty white concrete ground of my backyard. Walking up those few steps seemed to be the longest and scariest experience of my life.
For me, the reason the movie was so disturbing was because there was a sense of emptiness to it. The snow created a wide-open alone feeling that chilled you down to your bones. The still deadness of the lack of camera movement added to the creepy feeling. They turned space and stillness from comfortable to sick and eerie. Also, the camera was either really close to the actors or the shots where taken from a distance. I felt as if I was constantly being pushed and pulled. When the cameras were close, I felt close to the characters, like they were letting me in. but when the cameras were far I felt as if I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to. Like I was spying and witnessing something that I shouldn’t have. I guess that this was a way to let the audience create what was happening in their own heads. Sound effects replaced close-ups. It was really interesting to experience a gory movie where nothing gory happened. All they did was set the situation up and use a few noises to send you to the darkest places of your imagination. I read that they would record the actress speaking for Eli eating a melon and then use that recording whenever she would feed. Amazing.
The director also left a lot of the story up to our imagination as well. He never really goes into Eli and Hakan's back-story other than show that she is a boy. He makes you come up with what happened to them on your own. What I found really interesting was the relationship behind Eli and Hakan. At first, I thought that he was her father, and that he was afraid of her while at the same time loving her. There is no information to prove this wrong since Eli never says her actual age. I researched this and found theories on how Hakan might have been like Oskar. Maybe, when Hakan was once a boy she purposefully manipulated and befriended him so that he could become her blood supplier since she seems not to like actually killing people. It’s clear that Hakan has strong feelings for Eli as he even commits suicide for her. I don’t think that Eli loves him the same way back. Although she shows compassion towards him she didn’t seem upset when he died. It’s possible that Oskar is next in line to replace Hakan. She even seems to provoke his violent side as if preparing him to becoming a murderer. In the novel, Eli and Hakan's relationship is completely different. Apparently she hires him to kill for her and he is happy to do so because he is a pedophile and is attracted to her child body. Personally, I prefer viewing the movie this way. I don’t think that Eli is manipulating Oskar. It’s nice that so much of the story is untold so that you can come up with your own way of seeing it.
Monday, November 23, 2009
second to last
I can’t believe how fast worship went by. It seems like we have only just meet Joy and yet I feel like I have known her for a while. I love how comfortable the class is. This helped me today because I had a chance to perform. This was only my second time performing and yet I feel like I have improved. Watching other people perform gave me the confidence to perform myself. I've been taking into account the tips and tricks we learned in class and applied them to when I practice at home. The breathing advice helped a lot. I took a deep breath before I started and I instantly felt better. I was able to get through my monologue without thinking about if I did something wrong. I just have to remember to breathe throughout the entire monologue now and not just before and after. I need to take my time and relax. I wasn’t frustrated like I was the last time when I went up today. I'm learning to take in my mistakes as a positive because they will only help me learn. I can work on fixing my other problems now. Now that I've got the monologue memorized and analyze I can play with different ways of performing it. I do it in the same tone throughout, so it would be interesting to experiment with finding different emotions.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
workshop on friday
I didn't go again on Friday but I think that watching other people is helping me. I had the problem of forcing myself and not letting the monologue flow. Seeing the improvements in other people help me recognize what makes them better. They are better when they relax, which is true in almost everything you do. Joy keeps reminding us the importance of breathing. Like tricking your brain into thinking that you are calm, and then you become calm. Also, humans breathe, and unless we are playing some type of immortal, the character your playing is more alive when you breathe. So, I'm letting go of everything now, and just breathing. It’s a miracle what simplicity can do for you. I'm going to try not to over think things. I'm going to make simple decisions about whom I'm going to play, take a deep breath and then go for it.
love is blind
Today I did the obvious thing that an average teenage girl would do and I saw New Moon. I honestly cannot tell you if the movie was any good. I can’t give you my opinion on the movie. I can’t even tell you if the book was good. I cant because I already feel emotionally connected with the franchise. All I remember of my time reading the books was picking them up, being sucked into this alternate universe and then being violently thrown out as soon as I read the last word. I don't really remember anything else I did while I read the series because my mind was wrapped so tightly around it. Now that’s its been almost two years since reading them, I can go back, re-read them and notice all the flaws in Stephanie Meyers writing. I know that the plot is forced and that the characters that I once thought so greatly of are nothing but depressed suicidal teenage girls, emo abusive boyfriends and ill-tempered dogs. I cannot even give you an opinion of the book knowing this now because I know that it made me smile, laugh, cry and yell. Maybe this is because the book "feeds" me. It tells me exactly what I want to hear. Haters of the franchise say that the only reason it has become popular is because it gives teenagers what they want. The perfect boy, the perfect romance, the perfect best friend. And so here I sit trying to pick apart the movie, to analyze it and see what made it good and what made it bad. But I cant. I'm lost in that alternate universe that I explored those two years ago. I'm sure that people who haven’t been affected by the vampire virus can see it for what it actually is, a movie. But for now, ill just wait till I can see clearly. Maybe that’s what makes a movie good, when you don’t know what to think afterwards.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Workshop
Today in workshop I got the chance to see other people perform their monologues. First they would read their monologue all the way through and then they would put the monologue down and perform their version of the subtext. Joy had us sit facing a partner so that we could feed off of their reactions just like we would if we were in the play. When they re-read their monologue for a second time it was amazing. For everyone it became a little more real, more organic. By taking away the script they were allowed to perform a little more freely, and though they did not stray from the story they each added a little more umph-for lack of a better word. I remember Nicole's character was at a loss for words and her mouth twitched because she really became overwhelmed with what the character was saying. I think this happened because she wasn’t concerned with getting the monologue done right.
Joy said something that really stuck with me, she simply said to not try to get the audience to feel for you. That is what I was doing. I tried to make an emotional connection and the monologue was not working. I was and still am a bit frustrated. I'm not doing it the way I want to, but I'm figuring out what I'm doing wrong. See, I kept trying to bring up sad and depressed emotions because I have a more calm and depressed monologue but that isn’t the point at all. It’s like imp practically screaming, "look at how sad and pathetic this character is!" instead of just performing the damn thing. Last workshop Joy said "maybe she isn't sad" and my mouth opened. Of course she isn’t sad. Why did I think she was? Next time it my turn to read my piece, I won’t care about getting the audience on board.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Me so far
What did you learn in STAC so far? At first I thought what a simple question. I learned about color theory, film making, improve, a bit of photography and a whole lot of art and theater stuff. But like usual my first thought was wrong. I realized that I learned so much more than the facts. I learned a lot about myself, and I think that that is the most important thing STAC has done for me. I know that this sounds cheesy and generic but it’s the truth.
I am always saying “I was wrong” and “I realized later that...”, as you can see in my blogs. Part of the reason I change my mind about my opinions so often isn’t because I’m indecisive (actually that’s a whole other topic) or insecure about my first answer, but it’s because of STAC. I change my mind because I find new ways to look at things, like the question I am answering. I think differently now. I still think like me but the way I think is different. I think more, my brain gets caught up in analyzing and figuring things out. Nothing is simple or common any more. A color isn’t just a color but suddenly becomes a feeling and state of being. The trees aren’t brown, they are purple and green and blue. A photograph isn’t something pretty to look at but a way to pull certain emotions out from where it’s buried inside you. My mind works in strange ways now. I am beginning to notice a world I’m not familiar with and it’s scary. I didn’t think that I could change so much in just two short months, but still I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I feel bad for the people who make fun of STAC as being a cult or some group of weirdos. They don’t know how to make the most of their life and live by the unwritten rules of normalcy. I realized that first day of STAC that I am not normal. A friend pointed it out to me actually. Sometimes I say exactly what is one my mind and I’ll act exactly the way I feel like when I feel like it (hard to believe since I seem so shy in class right). Other than that I can’t exactly point out why I feel this way but I know that I don’t think like other people. I’m not saying that everyone thinks the same, because they don’t, but I am saying that the majority of people hold themselves back from being different like it’s a crime. STAC let me know that it’s my right, no, my privilege to act and think the way I feel like. I am not normal because there is no normal and I’m not afraid to show it. Ignore the fact that this paper is beginning to sound like a self help speech and realize with me that STAC is helping me uncover the little me inside that is disguised in the high school need to be normal.
Everyone is so free in class. I can describe everyone so easily and that not something I can do in a “normal” class because they all blend together like one person. STAC is full of individuality and I love that. I can be myself, which is difficult for me to explain. I’ve done what I can to translate my jumbled brain into words on this paper. STAC is another big step in “discovering who I am”, as they say.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Microexpessions
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
out of kontroll
Monday, October 26, 2009
Out of Order
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
merry berries
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Paul Klee
Letting Go
Sunday, September 27, 2009
a question for you
Monday, September 21, 2009
poem re-write
Falling stars re-write
Just a heads up... i'm not sure if this poem was in the packet that was given out in school.
i just googled poems and picked one that i liked. oh and i have to warn you that i am not a good poet,
the last one i wrote on my own free will was in sixth grade and went something like this;
drip drip
icy cold ice cream
drip drip
runs down my hand.
but i'm staying positive throughout this one. here goes...
Original:
Do you remember still the falling stars
that like swift horses through the heavens raced
and suddenly leaped across the hurdles
of our wishes--do you recall? And we
did make so many! For there were countless numbers
of stars: each time we looked above we were
astounded by the swiftness of their daring play,
while in our hearts we felt safe and secure
watching these brilliant bodies disintegrate,
knowing somehow we had survived their fall.
My Version:
I remember the falling starschasing worries away across the velvet of dark so innocent we were as we wishedfor in young minds stars can brighten allthey were grand creatures those starstheir danger flickered in our wide eyesbut we kept sight out of admirationand let out a breath only when they died
Friday, September 18, 2009
Drama Queens are Mute
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Michelle a la Tart
For the Filling...
- 1 can of silly expressions
- 4 cups of giggles
- 1 tablespoon creativity
- 3 teaspoons vanilla extract (for additional sweetness)
For the Topping...
- 10 mini tart dancing shoes
- An assortment of sliced seasonal fruit
- 1 can healthy glaze
- 1/3 cup anti-school
- 5 teaspoons seawater
Mix all of the filling ingredients together while listening to "We're in the Money".
Scoop one teaspoon of filling into each mini tart dancing shoes. Top filling filled dancing shoes with fruit, ant-school.
Mix together the glaze seawater and and sauté in saucepan until bubbly. Using a paintbrush apply seawater glaze to the surface of the tarts.
Serves 10. Enjoy!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Dancing Numbers
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
First Day of Class
These are my favorite pictures from the ones taken in class.
There was an epic battle between this picture and a sour lemon face that she made. But in the end this one won (obviously) because this one looks innocent. I like how she is looking away.
I like this one because its where she i really laughing and not just smiling for the camera. It looks natural.
Her hands and facial expressions make this picture look interesting. I want to know what she was saying.
I like this because it isn't boring. To me her hand is not distracting and it makes the picture more interesting.
I like this because she has a pretty smile and she raised her shoulders a little bit. It feels more relaxed.
This is an awesome picture. Her hair withcheeks and makes it look like an explosion of energy. Her eyes are also twinkling.
I like how this picture is simple.
I like this picture because looking away like he doesn't know that someone was taking his picture but he is still smiling.
This picture could be of the president giving an important speech or of someone looking at Big Foot, and thats exactly why I picked it.
He looks shy in this picture. I like how he is looking down.
Even though you cant see his face, I like it because it looks like a hand balancing a blob of hair.
I like his expression in this picture. He has a huge smile and his hands look like he is describing something exiting.
I like this picture because its funny. SHe is either thinking really hard or is confused.
I like this picture because her face is off to the side and there still isn't much background distractions.
I like this one because she is laughing really hard and her eyes are shut tightly.
I like this one because it looks like he is right about to say something important.... or sneeze.
I like this one because the little growl face is cute.
This picture is nice because she looks like she's telling the camera to come closer.
I like this one because she looks like a shy little girl.
I picked this one because i liked how he was off to the side. Also because he was smiling.
I like this one because he's facial expression. It's funny how his eyebrows are raised.
I like this one because it is close up and her glasses are hiding her eyes.
I like this one because she looks peaceful.
I like this one because it looks like she was very interested in what she was talking about and her hand is up.
Her facial expression is funny in this picture. Makes me wonder what questions she was asked...
I like this one because her head is tilted to the side. It reminds me of my elementary class picture where everyone tilted their head.
I like this one because she can't control her laughter.
I like this one because she squinted her eyes and has a nice smile in it.